Gulls take Manhattan!
Our flight was called. We boarded, buckled in, anxiously giggling that our trip was finally about to take place.
The doors were closed and the flight attendant began her safety lecture. "Please take the safety card out of the pouch of the seat in front of you and read along." Heather and I look over at Kathy across the aisle and she is actually doing this. She gives us that teacher look that says, "Children.... follow instructions!" But we just laugh and watch her as she studies where the exits are located and what to do in case of an emergency water landing. If the plane goes down, at least one of us will live.We begin taxiing to the runway. Kathy reaches up and starts playing with the knobs and buttons overhead of her seat. She pushes the "flight attendant call button" and it lights up and goes "DING!" and startles her. The look on her face was hilarious! She asks, "What was that?!" and Heather tells her and she goes, "Oh thank God, I thought I pushed the "STOP" button!" and for some reason this makes us laugh hysterically, tears and all.
The rest of the flight was fairly boring. Our seats were at the very rear of the plane, right next to the lavatory. In hindsight, we are thankful it was a boring flight. Sitting that close to the only bathroom in a flying aluminum tube could have been disastrous and nauseating!
We landed at Chicago for a small layover and change of planes. We each had the $8 breakfast plate there. What is with the prices on airport food? It's because they have you captive! You can't go anywhere to eat, you don't have the time, so they gouge ya!!! It's a travesty, I say! But.... we were starving so it was a good $8 breakfast. Another potty break and it was time to get back on a plane and head for LaGuardia.
We landed at LaGuardia just after 2pm. We hurried outside and found our hotel shuttle easily. Rode over to the hotel and checked in, took another potty break and readied ourselves to hit the town!
We inquired at the front desk as to the simplest way to get into Manhattan (our hotel was near the airport -- it's much cheaper that way). The desk clerk started rattling off how to take the bus to the subway then the subway to downtown and it sounded complicated so we agreed to just let him call us a taxi. I was expecting a traditional New York yellow cab but instead a Lincon town car drove up. We got in and there was no meter. That bothered me, as I had read in various internet travel guides that you can get scammed by not taking a yellow cab. The town car guys are kind of like poachers -- they don't have to use set rates like the yellow cabs do, etc. But we were already in the car speeding away so it was too late. Heather asked our driver about his rates and he told us it was a $35 flat rate into Mahattan, plus tolls for the tunnel. We shrugged and said "okay" -- pretty much our only choice, other than hurling ourselves out of the car while it traveled 70mph thru the midtown tunnel.
We sat back to enjoy the ride and look at the things we were passing as we left Queens. Houses, apartment buildings, things like that. It's a world totally different to what we are accustomed to. People don't own cars -- there's no need for them and no place to park anyway. The houses are all close together, usually mulit-family affairs (one building actually has 2 or 3 "houses" inside it). Kathy asked our driver about the cost of living and he told us a lot about what it costs to live in Queens and Manhattan and how the "working class man" really struggles because things there are so expensive.
We were headed to the Empire State Building, however some doofus retard left the tickets back at the hotel (that would be..... me!) so instead we had him drop us at Grand Central Station.
We gave the guy $50 for the ride, tolls and a tip, not realizing we had really just been screwed, but you'll see that later in the story. I mean, you'll see how we were screwed, not that you will see us being screwed. Because that? Would not be attractive. Unless you are into that sort of thing. But I digress.Grand Central. Beautiful. Busy. Bustling. Confusing. After a few minutes, we realized that this wasn't just a subway station -- it is also the TRAIN station, meaning the Amtrak or whatever they call it there. I'm so glad we didn't hop a train and end up in White Plains or Rochester. That would have been bad. Instead, we went downstairs, found the Metro card vending machines, purchased a card to ride the subway and figured out how to ride to Times Square. (Not hard -- you take the 7 train, it's the purple line, only 2 stops away).
We got to Times Square and from there we wanted to go north (or Uptown, as the New Yorkers would say) toward Central Park and walk around that area. Walking thru Times Square station, we started to discover that some of the best shows in New York take place in the tunnels! Forget Broadway! We heard lots of music in the subway. Some dude was playing a flute. There were a pair of guys, one on a clarinet type instrument, the other on one of those pan-flutes, playing Beatles songs. There was a man playing something that looked like a sitar, only it was skinnier. And the best. show. ever...?? The breakdancers! There were a group of 3 or 4, who had taken over a large empy area in the middle of the subway station. They had the boom box blaring loudly and a circle of people for an audience. One by one they would dance into the middle of the area and begin doing the most amazing things. Twisting, turning, up on their hands, down on the floor, moving quickly and smoothly, without effort. It was simply amazing. The strength and balance required to do that stuff ....... incredible. The best show, really!
From there we went down a level to find the right train to ride to Central Park. When you get 3 people together looking at the same map, well..... let's just say that you get 3 different opinions of which train to ride. The platform was fairly crowded, it was close to "rush hour". Kathy asked the lady standing in front of us if she could help -- and that is how we met Peggy. Peggy was the quintessential New Yorker -- coming home from work, dressed to the nines, hair in place, perfect makeup and understated jewelry. She told us we should go to Columbus Circle and then walk up Central Park to see Lincoln Center, etc. She said she was going that way -- we could just ride with her! So we did. She told us all about what we should see and do. "Then you need to turn right on 66th street and walk by the building that looks like a castle -- they film One Life to Live in there!" She told us when to NOT ride the Subway, but that for the most part it was not dangerous. Kathy said, "We'll be fine. Heather takes her kids to karate, I've seen parts of a Tae Bo video and Tam's done Pilates!" hahaha
It was a swirl of directions and travel tips, none of which made a whole lot of sense, but we were having a marvelous time just visiting with her. She and her husband actually live in Jersey. They drive in together to her husband's office, where she hops the Subway down to Wall Street to her office. Her husband is Irish and when they first moved to the city, he would spit on the doorway of their apartment building because he hated it so much!
We got off the subway at Columbus Circle and headed up to street level. As we walked toward Uptown, Peggy told us more places to be sure and see, and we traded stories about ourselves and where we were from. We got to a particular corner and Peggy let us know this was as far as she could go -- her husband's office was right there. She told us her husband works for ABC Television. "Oh really?" we asked, "Is he someone we would know?" She said he was a director at ABC News, his name is Patrick Moynihan. We got excited because the name is familiar -- turns out to be because of Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan. Not the same person. I googled and found that this Patrick Moynihan is Director of Fire and Safety for ABC News Television. But that's still cool because Peggy proceeded to tell us a little dirt on some ABC celebs, like:
Meredith Viera from The View is a slob and kept her dressing room like a pig sty, with moldy food and dirty clothes lying everywhere.
Star Jones' husband is gay.
Regis is kind of a dick. He goes into restaurants and says loudly, "Do you have a table for REGIS??" knowing that he'll be recognized and given a free meal.
Mel Gibson is very short.
Most stars are not recognizable in real life. When Peggy was going to meet Tom Hanks at ABC studios, she was riding the elevator with her friend on the way up to meet him. She said, "I'm going to meet Tom Hanks but seriously I have to pee really, REALLY BAD." And the man standing behind her said, "Nice to meet you -- my wife pees a lot, too." It WAS Tom Hanks! Hee!
Relucantly, we parted ways with Peggy and walked north, seeing the Metropolitan Opera House, Juliard, the Museum of Natural History. We crossed over to the park and saw the Imagine memorial for John Lennon, which is just across the street from the Dakota, which is where he was killed. Central Park is just gorgeous -- honestly, if I lived in NYC, I would want to live near the park. We walked through the park, saw the meadow where people play football and frisbee and have picnics. Saw the Lake with the rowboaters out en force. Walked thru the Zoo area (the zoo was closed already) and ended up at Tavern on the Green, where we had dinner.
There were not many tourists in there. I felt somewhat out of place in my track suit and tennis shoes amidst the cocktail dresses and suits -- but whatever, it's part of the adventure. We were seated and "Captain Ron" came to introduce himself as our host/waiter/steward for the meal. He was quite rude. It was obvious that he felt he was better suited to wait on the chi-chi clientele, rather than us plain ol' hick tourists. I ordered the crab cake appetizer, and the roast chicken in tarragon wine sauce (with mashed potatoes and steamed whole green beans) as an entree. The bread basket came -- the bread was good but it was cold. The food came -- it was overpriced and overrated. The best thing on my plate was the green beans. I guess that about says it all. It was my turn to pay the check, so when it came, Heather & Kathy ran for another potty break while I took care of the cost. I didn't leave a tip for Captain Ron, he was a dick.
While I was leaving, the hostess seated Lindsay Lohan at the table across from us. If it wasn't her, it was her twin sister. I bet she got better service than we did. *hmph*
Back to the subway we went -- rode back to Times Square, where we got off and went up to the street. We walked up Times Square, marveling at the lights and all the people. This is obviously a big tourist area. There were chain restaurants all up and down the street -- Red Lobster, Hard Rock Cafe, Champs, etc. Who comes to NYC and eats at the same places they can eat at home? I think that's retarded. Smushed in between the chain restaurants are little delis and markets and pizza places -- those are the places where you go and grab a bite!
We walked along, saw the ABC Primetime live studio. Apparently they were having a show (I guess they were) because a bunch of folks were gathered outside shouting and cheering up toward the windows. We saw MTV Studios and some of the theaters that were off on the side streets. Wicked, The Lion King, The Color Purple. We walked up to the Ed Sullivan Theater, where David Letterman tapes. Of course by this time it was 10:00pm and nobody was there. The Hello Deli was closed. It's very, very small.
From there we walked a block over and took a seat at Lindy's for a cup of coffee and cheesecake. I had the Irish coffee (It was mondo strong) and rice pudding (mmmmmm wonderful). We were beat, our feet hurt and we were lagging from no sleep the night before, so from there we hailed a cab and headed back for the hotel.
THIS time -- we got a yellow cab. The ride was like a roller coaster -- 70-80mph (at least!) weaving and bobbing in and out of traffic, honking the horn, barely missing tourists trying to cross streets against the light. The cab rides in NYC are an event in and of themselves! The ride back to the hotel was about 25 minutes and it cost $23.50 plus tip. Now -- do you see the scam between that and the town car? Tip: If you ever go to NYC make SURE you request a yellow cab if you have the hotel offer to call you a taxi!
We showered and fell into bed exhausted. I stuffed my ears with cotton (thought it might help, judging from the night before) but seriously, I was out and comatose nearly all night. I never heard Heather snore at all. Kathy snored lightly but it was so quiet, it didn't bother me at all. We each got some much needed rest and slept in the next morning until about 8:00am when we rose and got ready for Day 2.......
posted by Tamfish @ 6:24 AM
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