She Ain't Crazy -- She's Spirit Filled!
This morning started out stressful because it’s payday at my 1st job and I’m literally squeezing blood out of turnips over there to skate us by for another 2 weeks. Business is so slow, the money comes in as a very slow drip. It isn’t even enough to call a trickle. On paydays I always have to weigh my choices: Do I get paid or do I pay the utility and office supply bills? If I do both – which bills do I pay and which ones do I put off for another week or two?
It’s really disheartening.
As I am going thru this today, I’m seriously thinking in the back of my mind, “I just need to see if I can go full-time at the bank or something. This job is coming to an end. It isn’t going to work anymore, I can’t take the stress of not knowing if I’ll get paid enough to make my own bills. And Christmas is coming…. Then what?!”
I was in a bit of a funk leaving my office to head toward the bank. As I started off, my CD player came on (as always) and my new Casting Crowns cd began playing:
“Rescued from darkness we are walking in marvelous light!
For we are the children of the King!
SING!
You are worthy of all honor,
Glory, praise and power!
King of the nations!
YOU are Holy God Almighty!
Clothed in brilliant majesty
Father, Spirit Jesus!”
And it reminded me that I don’t have to be worried because I am no longer driving this bus I call my life – Jesus is at the wheel and He knows where we’re going!! I said a little prayer right then, “Jesus, I’m not going to worry about the money because You already have it in Your hands and I know You will see to my every need. How grateful I am for You!” and a calm washed over me. He’s got it.
Jesus is cool like that. :o)
So if you are ever driving thru Brownwood, Texas between 10:30-11:00am and you see a cute dorky chick (heh) in a silver Jetta screaming down the road, stereo blasting, hair flyin’, hands in the air thru the sunroof singing praises to God -- she ain’t crazy, she’s just filled to the brim with the Spirit! ;o)
Fly Away
Sometimes being a mom is scary.
My oldest, also named Jimmy, is 17 and a junior in high school. He’s so grown up. He works after school, he has his own car, he’s really independent these days and he acts it, too. He has little time for Mom & Dad anymore. It’s kind of sad. But I guess that is how life goes. We raise ‘em up as best we can and expect that one day they’ll fly from the nest, into the clear blue sky.
That’s the scary part. What is he going to do with himself? With his life? It frightens me. I can only imagine how it scares him. He would never show it – he’s too “Joe Cool” for that, but I bet, deep down, it’s scary. I mean, just think about it. You’re a kid, here’s your life: You watch Sesame Street, you play on the see-saw, you go to school, your mommy takes care of everything. It goes on like this year after year. And in school, it seems like you’ll just never get through, you’ll just spend year after year in school forever. And then….. all of a sudden you are a junior in high school and you look ahead and you can see it coming to an end. You can actually see the day when you are going to fly out of the nest. Then what?
We tell our kids “You can be ANYTHING you want to be!!” because we think it’s uplifting and inspirational. But – imagine how SCARY that thought is. A 17 or 18 year old kid doesn’t know what he wants to be. And the list of things to choose from stretches into infinity because he can be ANYTHING. That doesn’t help narrow the choices.
So here’s Jimmy. 17 years old, junior in high school, probably realizing that the ride is nearly over and he’s looking ahead and can see the edge of the nest. He’s a smart kid – I mean, really smart – yet he’s somewhat a slacker. He seldom brings homework home. I rarely see him studying. He does the minimum required to get by and still makes A’s and B’s, so in a sense he’s being rewarded for slacking. He says he wants to go to college and he has some brochures in his room, but he isn’t actively following up on them. He says there’s plenty of time. He’s taken the PSAT and will get his scores next month. He says he isn’t worried – the test was easy, he didn’t even really study for it. He’s very nonchalant about school and life in general.
Sometimes I think it is almost as if he’s trying to push himself away from the edge of the nest a bit. Maybe he doesn’t realize it, but he’s just trying to put it off a little while longer because it’s a scary world out there. Maybe he’s not ready for the reality of being a full-fledged adult just yet.
I can’t say that I blame him.
He’s 17, he’s bigger than me. He reminds me more and more of his Dad each day. Yet……… to me he’s still that baby with a few soft red hairs, wrapped up in a blanket in my arms.
CRAP
This morning, in the spirit of starting my new Plan, I weighed and measured myself. The scale was not good to me. Measurements were about what I expected.... but the scale? What is up with that contraption? I said I wanted to lose about 10 pounds -- let's make that more like 15 to 20.
If anyone out there knows why a woman can weigh X amount of pounds one minute, then Y amount of pounds the next, please explain. I don't get it. This will be "Period Week" so that could account for something. But my clothes fit like they have for a while now, so how can a person weigh, say, 10 pounds more than they expected but still wear the same size clothing? Hmmmmmmmmm?
Maybe it was the 3 chocolate chip cookies I ate last night. (Jimmy is a devil but I love him)
Then I got to my 1st job and found that our business checking account is overdrawn. WTF? I have no idea what I've done. I have to go back there after I get off work at the bank and balance the checkbook, or attempt it anyway.
Today must be "Confound the Hell out of Tammy" day.
Celebrate!
The Plan (does she know she just said "Plan"?)
Thanksgiving is done and I enjoyed the indulgences very much. And now that it is over, I have come to realize that I am ready to stop being so lazy and get moving again.
Yes, it is official. I have a Plan.
See, usually I don’t have a Plan because when I have a Plan I get all rebellious and cranky about it and chuck it out the window!
But ------------- it’s time to have a Plan and do something. Fun time is over. Or maybe it has just begun! :o)
So here’s my Plan. It isn’t a big deal, just a few guidelines for me to keep in mind. I will be working my Plan while my friend Heather (aka aztlgrl, aka Sasquatch) is doing her Plan. Also my friends Nina and Dawd are already working Plans (because they are not slackers like I am). Together we will be Planbusters. If I slack, they will come to Texas and stomp a mud hole in my ass in March. Hopefully.
Anyone else reading this who wants to be a Planbuster, join in and leave a comment! That means you HotHatHeather (Triple H) and Kathy with the gimp knee hahahahaaaa (by the way, I fixed it so you can leave commentary now without having to sign in. Yay me!)
EXERCISE:
I will be using the Turbo Jam program by Beachbody. I have Cardio Party 1 and Turbo Sculpt presently. I will be getting Cardio Party 2 and Lower Body Jam this next week. I will alternate these workouts, with maybe mixing in a Slim Series (by Debbie Siebers, also by Beachbody) here and there for variety. I will do this a minimum of 5 days per week (Sunday thru Thursday) with the option to workout Friday if I so desire (but no pressure). I will follow this Plan thru January 31st, at which time I will evaluate progress and change things up if needed or wanted.
FOOD:
I will begin eating 3 meals and 1 snack per day with an emphasis on lean protein and lots of veggies. I will eat a salad daily. If we go out to eat (which we tend to do a LOT) I will order more lean meat and veggies and salads and less starches and greasy stuff. I will also get a “to go” box first thing and put away ½ my order before I begin eating. Portion size is a must for me to remember – thus I will be cutting back my portion sizes and eating off smaller plates. I will be paying attention to eating until I am satisfied – not eating myself into a food coma. I will not eat after 8pm. Weekends will be considered “relax days” wherein I will keep moderation and the Plan in mind, but if I want a Dr. Pepper or a brownie, I will have them with no regrets.
PROGRESSION:
Again, I will work this thru January 31st, weighing and measuring myself at the end of each 2 weeks to evaluate progress. Ultimately, I would like to lose about 10 pounds and/or be able to pull my OCI Boycut jeans down to my hipbones like I could this past spring. More importantly, I want to be sleeping better and feel stronger. I want to develop more stamina because…..
REWARD:
My Beachbody hooligans Nina (neeeena), Heather (aztlgrl) and Dawn (Dusk) are planning to come to Dallas!! We will meet up and go to a LIVE Turbo class with MINDY ROBISON – one of the stars of the Turbo Jam videos. I don’t want to be the slug in the back begging for an oxygen tank 1/3 thru the workout. So – it’s time to MOVE IT AND GROOVE IT BABY!
And so it begins……………
Get ready for turkey day!
I'm pretty busy this morning so this is going to be a short post. In keeping with my food theme, I will say that I am ready for tomorrow!! We are going to get together with Jimmy's older brother and his family and spend some quality Fisher time. We plan on eating out for the main Thanksgiving meal, then heading over to their house for pie and Dallas Cowboys football. I am going to make Velveeta cheese dip for the occasion. And yes, I know it is fattening and calorie-laden and I don't give
two hoots! And we may even drink
Dr. Pepper!
It's Thanksgiving! If you go to Thanksgiving dinner and you don't eat something gloriously rich or fattening or smothered in whipped cream then you are simply
UN-AMERICAN.
There are another 364 days a year to be good and exercise and all that jazz. Well, ok -- let's say 360 after you take out Christmas, your birthday, New Year's and 4th of July. So! There are another 360 days a year to worry about your weight and working out and eating broccoli and grilled fish. What's one day (Thanksgiving) in the big scheme of things?
C'mon! LIVE!!
:o)
Last night I made brownies....
See? I cleverly tie it all in. Now you are starting to get me, aren't ya? So last night I made brownies and Jimmy said I was evil but I know better than that. He lurves me. ;o) Also, the fact that he said this while making himself waffles -n- syrup was sort of a giveaway to his real feelings. heh. He was making waffles in the toaster oven, which was smoking like KUH-RAZY thanks to Jacob and his melted cheese snack of the day. So we had to put 'em in the oven with the brownies instead. I said maybe I'd get a toaster for Xmas and Jimmy said, "I already know what I'm getting you for Xmas." A Ha!!! That means he's getting me something! I tried to pry some clues out of him, but he's a wily devil. Now I'm already thinking of what to get him. He's hard to buy for in a way, he's not really picky but he usually just gets whatever he wants for himself. I'll really have to think because I want to get him something special and cool. I'm open to suggestions. *hint hint*So... brownies and waffles with syrup. This morning I got an email from a friend concerning food intake. It was about eating as primitive men did -- all natural foods from the earth before man became agriculturalized. In other words, foods allowed are meat, nuts, berries and natural fruits & veggies... and I can't remember what else. Not much. On the "forbidden" list were all grains and grain products (breads, pastas, etc) all sugars (except honey), anything that can't be eaten "raw" such as potatoes and beans, all dairy products and just about everything that is good and tasty and meant to be eaten. And somethings that are not.While I can see some sense in this -- I mean the article made perfect sense -- there's this huge part of me thinking, "Geez is there ANYTHING left to eat that won't kill me or make me fat?"See, I'm striving for a balance. Have you ever known a person who was a total health nut? A person who won't take even a tiny bite of birthday cake on their big day, or a sip of champagne at New Year's because "it's poison!" Sure, they are going to live forever and they have gorgeous 6-pack abs. But...... are they having any fun? Really? And are they fun to be around? Really?Of course, that's the extreme end of the spectrum. The other end is the 600-lb. gorilla who lives in McDonalds and sweats gravy and chocolate sauce. They are the ones who invite you to the "All You Can Eat" buffet then embarass you by eating it all. Are they fun to be around? Really?*sigh* I just want balance. I want to be right there in the middle. I don't want to live forever -- but I don't want to be that 600-lb. gorilla either. I want the desire to exercise (really I do, I pray for it constantly and thus far, He hasn't given it to me haha) so that I can be healthy and active and fit. I love a big salad with oil & vinegar dressing. I love veggies and fruits. Really I do. But I also love chocolate and baked potatoes with everything on 'em and cheeseburgers. I love brownies and Dr. Pepper. I don't want to be that person at the party who, while everyone is having cake, takes out her little baggie of carrot sticks and hummus and swears its just as good as the cake. Then again, I don't want to be that person everyone stares at while she goes back for her 5th slice of cake, then her 6th. Then eats the leftovers. Ha.I want balance, that's all. Whatever happened to balance? And why can't everyone want it, just like me? Man, the world would be a happy place if everyone would just do what I want.heh.:o)
Breakfast of Champeens
I wonder if all my posts will have titles about food. Hmmmm.
Today may be a multiple post day because I am not sure yet what I want to babble about. For now, it is Monday morning and I'm freezing in my office because the dorks who run this place won't turn on the heat. They say it gets too hot. Whatever. I woke up with a sinus headache. It isn't bad -- it's just *
there* ya know? I got here to work and found that my skim milk is now soured skim milk, so no breakfast for me. I'm having a
Dr. Pepper. AH! There it is ! She ties in the title of this weird blog. Yes
Dr. Pepper is the most wonderful drink in the world -- but I have to limit my intake so I won't be a fat ass. *sigh*
Last night the Fishers went to my church's Thanksgiving Feast. The food. Was. AWESOME. We went thru the dessert line first and I got samplings of fruit salad and banana pudding and pecan pie. Mmmmmm. Then we went thru the regular line, where I got samplings of: corn with cream cheese and green chiles, roasted sweet potatoes with carrots & onion, REAL cranberry sauce, turkey, a little ham, dressing (or stuffing as you yankees say) and a roll. OMG. It was sooooo good. I had to have more of the roasted sweet potatoes and veggies. Those were to die for, honestly. And the REAL cranberry sauce (not that canned stuff) was divine. Seriously.
So by the time I got done and went to eat my dessert, I didn't really want the sweet stuff. I wanted more roasted vegetables. But at this point I had to stop before I killed someone across the room with the button flying off my jeans.
Someone from the church decided to have a musical act for us. Now, you would imagine that since this is a church outing, it would be hymns or the like, yes? Oh no. It was this weird woman and this odd little skinny dude singing showtunes. That's right. SHOWTUNES. And not only singing, but they would act out the parts as they sang. And sometimes they danced. Both my sons were giving me the evil eye. I asked them later, "Hey didn't that beat playing video games?" and they looked at me like I was insane. Can't say that I blame 'em.
Okay thats enough for now. Time to get some work done. If I have an epiphany of thought later, I'll post again. Brain diahrrea. Bet you can't wait.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6:o)
Good Eggs
This morning, I am working at the bank 9 to 12. Ugh. Yeah it sucks but it's $24!!!! hahaha It isn't so bad, at least I'm up and doing something productive. Otherwise I'd be lying in bed til 10:00 wondering why my back hurts and wishing for pancakes to magically appear.So I checked my email this morning and had a note from Traci Morrow. Well, not a note, it was a freaking BOOK by anyone's standards and it was all about Jesus and getting to know him. See, I am a new Christian. A baby Christian. I took my leap of faith earlier this year and since then, I have "new eyes". Things are changing within me -- I can feel it -- it is the work of Christ in me and the Holy Spirit and it is *amazing* to say the least.Okay I know what you're thinking. "Geez louise it's the 2nd post and already she's throwing Jesus at us...." Please bear with me!! I'm not going to beat you with my Bible or make you watch while I handle snakes and sing praises. Promise. It's just that He is now a HUGE part of my life and I have vowed that I will not be ashamed to speak of Him and what He has done for me, even if it makes me sound crazy! ( "We can never wear green again!" Kathy, that still cracks me up! ) Back to Traci -- she sends me this novella about Christ and faith and finally finding Him after searching for years for what was missing in your life and what He does!! Is!! Awesome!! Now let me tell you something. Traci Morrow is a good egg. She has just lost her dear grandfather. He passed just days ago. She's got to load up her husband and family of 4 kids (the little one has the stomach flu, bet this is gonna be a nice trip!) and head for Oregon, like 12 hours away, for the services. She has to find someone to feed the pets, pack, load the van, get the kids ready, all this while mourning the loss of her grandpa, worrying about her grandma, I imagine the phone is ringing constantly with family members and friends offering condolences and asking questions.....And in all this, she finds the time to send a War & Peace email to me about just how powerful a relationship with Christ can be.She took the time.Think about that. Think about your friends. Are you a good egg?Take some time today and tell a friend you love 'em.:o)
Like my blog? (anna nicole voice)
Well, here's my blog. Ain't it pretty?
I'll be honest. I don't really know what I'm doing here. My friend Heather has a blog and its cool so I gotta have one, too. So does that mean if one of my friends has Asian Bird Flu, I gotta have it, too? Depends on how close a friend they are. Haaaa. No... seriously.....
While watching "Breaking Bonaduce" one evening (yeah I know, you don't have to tell me), Danny said something profound. He said, "I used to think that people deserved to hear everything I have to say. Now I'm just trying to keep my big mouth shut." So.... why am I here if I'm trying to keep my mouth shut?
Because it isn't my nature! I'm a communicator. I'm a talker. The nice thing about this blog is that the few who see and read it will be people who know me and care about me (I hope!) and they understand that. At least I'm not out there trying to spread the message of Tammy to the masses. Been there done that. The whole "Behold ME!" thing just doesn't work.
So this will be where I post daily (if I remember to) about whatever is on my mind. It might be interesting, it might be stupid. That will depend on the day. But it'll be here.
Thanks for *listening* :o)
